Estoy aqui

Hola mi amigos

I have arrived in Mexico after a six hour stopover in the Houston airport, which seemed a little like Mexico lite. Spanish, moustaches, necklaces with crucifixes and shorter people were aplenty.


A sweet SkyMall ad I found in a magazine. And I quote: "... featuring a variety of designs to make wearing respiratory masks fun."

Allow me to backtrack a bit by telling you all a tale that happened to me while I was still in Toronto. The American passport control officer attempted to make some conversation with me at Pearson airport. Upon gazing at my passport, the man noted that I had an “interesting” last name. In politeness, I gave the man permission to chortle. Of course he refrained from any outward tittering, which was polite I suppose, but he then asked if my last name was Native American. De veras? My last name has been the topic of conversation on more than one occasion, but nobody has ever asked such a thing before. (Not even an American...hey oh). I thought to myself, I’m not sure that’s exactly how the Natives used to pick those sorts of names. Just imagine the following conversation way back in the day: “How. Welcome to our land, This is my wife Thick Bush and he my friend Tiny Stick.” And to tell you the truth, I was actual put off by the whole thing, for I felt ‘Ferris’ didn’t have much credibility when it came to name calling.


Another SkyMall ad. The jokes write themselves.

I have a small complaint when it comes to flying. I dislike the power pilots flex when it comes to turning on and off the seatbelt sign while at cruising altitude. Sometimes the light comes on when there’s a little turbulence, and while I guess I understand the logic, I’m still a little apprehensive. Walking around during turbulence is no worse than walking out onto a floating dock. And people aren't just being projected into the water on those things. And besides, if I want to stand up and take the chance of accidently falling into the lap of a divorcee isn’t that my risk? But that’s definitely not the worst of it. There’s other times when I think they just put the light on to show us their power and let us know who’s boss at 35,000 feet. It’s like when a dog starts growling during an amicable game of fetch, when old people ask you to remove your hat once indoors or when you’re getting a lap dance and the stripper tells you, “no touching.”


This is a real Mexican coin. It's 10 cents, which is worth about 8/10ths of a Canadian cent. I bought 3 tacos, a side of beans and a drink with it. Totally joking.

A few people have been a touch concerned for my safety here in Mexico, so I would like to take this opportunity to inform everyone that things are going to be just fine. I spent my first night at a nice hotel and ate at Applebees. There is nothing to worry about, and besides, I like to consider myself a bit of a man’s man. I don’t want to say that I’m not afraid to die, but I would like to think that I laugh in the face of danger. I think in this dog eat dog world a strong macho offense that cracks a few skulls is probably the best approach. P.S. Mom, thanks so much for the snackies. Felt really great in my tum-tum.